Anthony Bourdain @ The Chicago Theatre

It's a nice day, I thought, as I walked very leisurely from Union Station to State and Lake. It was a Saturday, about seven pm, right before dusk. Clouds hung above a wispy layer of fog, threatening rain. I've never walked in the loop during the evening before, and I had it practically to myself. Busses and cars made city noise on the street, but the sidewalks were mine to enjoy. As I walked I marveled at this transformation in myself. Wasn't I once the whiny kid who complained that the city was smelly and noisy? Now I was zigzagging through an urban landscape, feeling as serene as if I was alone on a forest trail.

I arrive at the Chicago Theatre with plenty of time to spare, so I stop into Wow Bao to sample their Asian buns. The first bite is trickiest part. It has to be big enough that your teeth hit the warm, gooey filling, but small enough that you don't feel like a pig. Subsequent bites are easier and also tastier. Warm, curry chicken awaits past the thick dough. Inside the second bun lies spicy Mongolian beef. Growing tired of the outer layer, by the end of my meal I'm simply turning the bao inside out and sucking out the creamy coconut custard inside. This bao is a delicious must-have way to end the meal.

Across the street, the Chicago Theatre clearly was built for higher culture than Anthony Bourdain. There are paintings hanging outside the bathroom, and sculptures adorn all the walls. I'm sitting in a box seat, because they were the same price as everything else, and because they were the best seats left by the time I found out about the event and ordered. Wearing jeans and drinking a beer, I stare expectantly at the lit podium, wearing attire similar to what I might wear watching him on TV in my apartment. It's not like this is opera- though it certainly costs almost as much. As the time drags on and it's fifteen past the start time, I think about Anthony Bourdain sitting somewhere behind that curtain. In his books he makes such a huge deal about promptness and being on time. Does it kill him that these things inevitably start late? Does he feel animosity towards the people milling around, holding him up?

At last the lights dim, they turn off some horrible album they've been playing for the last half hour, and the man himself walks onto the stage to thunderous applause. He smiles, takes a long drink from a beer. As the applause gets louder he holds his hand above his eyes, looking at the quantity of people that are in this theatre. "This is by far the largest venue I've been in front of," he says, which makes us all proud. As the applause dies down he informs us, "Now, I'm not going to make any Rachel Ray jokes tonight." Laughter and mock boos from the crowd. "Come on, it's low hanging fruit!" More laughing.

He uses this as a launching board to discuss various celebrity chefs and food personalities; some he despises, others he admires, others he fears. This is common and friendly territory- his take on the many other food-related shows that much of his audience watches. He seems relaxed, rather than rehearsed. His snarky personality, dotted with self-depreciating lines, is signature Bourdain. This is definitely the same voice I read in Kitchen Confidential and personality I see from time to time on TV. He seems very genuine.

He bridges into talking about shows that he himself has been on. I'm reminded of the time I heard George Takei speak, and how he was sure to talk about everything he had done- Star Trek, Heroes, radio programs- before really getting into the meat of what he wanted to talk about. This way all his fans present, no matter what drew them to this event, will be satisfied.

For me, obviously, Top Chef was the highlight of this segment. Although Tony spoke half-derisively of plenty of other shows, he had nothing but praise for Top Chef. "What I like most about it is- it's honest... Whoever messes up the most that week, that's the person who goes home. And whoever does the best- that's who wins." Like many guest judges who have been on the show, much of his praise centers around head judge Tom Colicchio. Tony tells us about the legitimacy he brings to the show, and how the producers' faces fall when Tom sends home someone who has a juicy back story, or who is a hunk, etc. Personally, I love Bourdain as a guest judge on Top Chef- I think he's the best they've ever had; Eric Ripert and Stephen Starr are close seconds. Hopefully he comes back on it soon!

The show rolls on and we get to the meat of it. Traveling. Other cultures. Vegetarians. Becoming a parent. Fun stories and opinions that I've read already in interviews, seen on TV, etc. I enjoyed listening to this down-to-earth if snarky monologue (I know I already called him snarky, but really, could there be a better adjective to describe him?). The talk didn't really have a point- or a morale- it was just honest fun. Entertainment. And what's wrong with that? "I would make a very bad activist," he said during the Q&A segment at the end. That's probably true.

Once many questions had been asked (including: "What size are your boots?" Answer:"*laughter*... Let's move it along!"), he asks if there is one more question, saying the name of a man I can't remember. Someone from the first row stands up, grabs his girlfriend's hand, and leads her onto the stage. "I don't know what we're doing, by the way..." says Tony. The woman looks appropriately shocked/happy to be proposed to, though I can't understand what else she thought was going to happen. As the couple kisses and the ring is put on, Tony said, "Don't blame me if this goes horribly, horribly wrong!" Yep. Signature Bourdain.